Russian Roulette
Russian roulette will never cease to amaze me as a game—not in a good way, of course.
One second you’re playing, perhaps smiling, even. And the moment you pull the trigger, you might just disappear. No, you won’t get to say goodbye, you won’t get to say—perhaps even think—, “I’m sorry”. You’re just gone.
But would you feel it? Neuroscience points at the answer being probably not. Do we know for sure, though? For all we know, maybe you’d know, for a nanosecond. Maybe that nanosecond is an eternity in subjective time, an eternity of confusion.
Russian roulette isn’t about being brave, it isn’t about having no fear—it’s about seeing no value. Seeing no value in your life, your experiences. You’re gambling away yourself, and it’s far from admirable. You’re taking away yourself, not with dignity, but with a complete lack of care.
It’s a looming sense of apathy, indifference and nihilism at their worst. Honestly, not the way I’d like to be taken out.
Published on 2025-06-08