Weaponize the Five Minute Rule
I once heard that before you correct someone you should ask yourself: can they fix it in five minutes? If they’ve got scraps of food on their face, a word mispronounced, or a tag sticking out, go ahead, help them out.
But if it’s their accent, their outfit, a trait inherent to them, or a harmless mistake that isn’t immediately fixable, let it slide.
Kindness is more valuable than correctness.
Not every flaw needs a spotlight.
Five minutes after making this observation, I proceeded to overdose on nicotine by accident. However, that’s beside the point.
I love the five-minute rule. Not necessarily because I need it, but because it can be a tactful way of shutting down unkindness without being unkind yourself—specifically, the unkindness of those who just can’t shut their mouths about others.
We’ve all been in that situation: hanging out in a group, someone does something they shouldn’t or have something just a bit off—another person makes an insensitive comment about them.
Generally, we can do nothing but to give in. What’s the socially acceptable choice anyway? However, that is what’s made the five-minute rule so special for me.
Josh didn’t have matching clothes. Stella, being next to him and unavoidably noticing, sneers and makes a sarcastic remark: “Gosh, Josh. Ever heard of color theory?”
We aren’t taught what to do in these kinds of situations—however, specifically for this, I found out the five-minute rule is the perfect callout: not too cheeky, just enough for the other person to get the message.
“Five-minute rule, Stella.”
And generally, that’s enough to just make them shut up. It doesn’t matter that it’s a small comment. What matters is, someone stood up for Josh.
Published on 2025-05-10